Nice Knowing You...2007 Season!

Caution: NC-17 rant ahead!

Okay, that's it! I've had it! 7-19 in the last 26 games! UNACCEPTABLE! This Dodger team is dead to me! Well no, not really, although, they may as well be. I just don't see them crawling out of the deep pile of shit they've dug for themselves. Two weeks ago, they were riding high, in first place with a decent win-loss record. Today, they are 6-1/2 games out of first, one game above .500, with zero hope in sight. Their bats are colder than an a witch's tit! Global warming, my ass...the Dodger dugout is the fucking artic zone! Brrrrrr!!

Still, imagine how much worse the season could've gone without Penny and an occassional good start from Billingsley and Lowe. Besides them, up to this point, Dodger starting pitching has been craptific. It's a shame they never had a healthy Schmidt to count on and of course, losing Randy Wolf at the all star break really hurt the team's chances. Due to the bad luck, management has been forced to use a couple of bums every few days as filler. And, of course, torture us fans in the process! My God, Tomko, aka "BOMKO" and Hendrickson, aka "Lurch" SUCK royal a$$!! I get physically ill on the days when I know they'll be on the mound. My butt doesn't even get the chance to warm my seat when we're already down by three or four runs! Management, please do us all a favor and lose these two! My grandma could pitch better and throw harder!

Pitching aside, what's even more frustrating is their hitting, or in this case, lack thereof. I've never seen a more impotent Dodger team. Is there any Viagra in the house? Sure, they get runners on, but they just can't get them to cross the God damned mother -bleep- plate. The team LOB must be somewhere up in the gazilions! Their collective BA has probably dropped by .50 points, if not more in the past couple of weeks. But wait, it's worse...much worse.

I wouldn't mind them losing so much, if they'd only show a little passion for the game. Yes, the players show up for games physically, but they always forget to bring their hearts with them. I like to see players who will leave it all out on the field and so far, it has not been the case. They're dull, lifeless and seem to have taken on Grady Gump's characteristics, which is like fucking Droopy. "I'm happy, are you happy?" No, I'm certainly the fuck NOT!! I'm sick of the Gumpage! Where the fuck is my team? Where are the bats, where are runs, where's the starting pitching, where's the passion, where's the heart? WHERE IS THE DODGER PRIDE?? WTF???????????????



Dodger faithful, please pray for this team, otherwise, the season is over today!



AND FINALLY, JUST BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF HEARING SHIT FROM BANDWAGON ANGELS FANS...

GUMP HAPPENS

"God damn it, Gump! You're a god damn genius! This is the most outstanding answer I have ever heard. You must have a goddamn I.Q. of 160. You are goddamn gifted, Private Gump. "
Drill Sargent - Forrest Gump



What in Heaven's name goes through Grady Gump's mind? Yes, that is his new nickname, it fits perfectly! Did anyone see his pathetic lineup for tonight's game against the D'Backs??? SAENZ HITTING CLEANUP??? God almighty, the guy is hitting a pathetic .185. Even lower now with an 0-4 night. Good call Gump! That ain't all folks, he also decided to start a journeyman utility guy, Ramon Martinez, at second base who is hitting even less than Saenz. And to put the icing on the cake, he started a recent call up and rookie, Delwyn Young, in left field. Nice way to get his feet wet, I guess. BUT DOES GUMP HAVE TO DO THIS WHEN THE DODGERS ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A DOGFIGHT FOR FIRST PLACE????????

Here are a few questions I would like Grady Gump to answer!

1. Did you even want to compete in tonight's game?
2. Are you freakin' trying to give away the division?
3. Who bats cleanup tomorrow? Knowing you, I'll hazard a guess and say Tomko..you know, so you can build his confidence back up.
4. WHERE THE HELL IS ETHIER? In case you haven't noticed, the kid is hitting around .300, numb nuts!
5.Why don't you put your best players on the field?
6. Have you purchased a home in Los Angeles yet? God, I hope not!

I'm really beginning to dislike this manager as the season wears on. There've been many of his decisions I haven't liked, but this takes the cake. I'm ready to jump on the, "FIRE GRADY" bandwagon, which BTW, is gaining speed with the Dodger fan base.

I'm at a loss here. The Dodgers drop 2 of 3 to the lowly Gnats, they drop the first one to the D'Backs. They get shutout on 3 miserable hits and lose 1-0. I realize we can't hang every little thing on Gump, and that some of the responsibilty lies with the players. However, if they follow Gump's lead, they will be chasing their own tails for the remainder of the season. Gump shows no fire, no passion, no emotion, no chutzpa!!! NOTHING!!!!! All we get are blank stares, lost looks and lots of teeth grinding. The team is beginning to take on his characteristics! Bah! What I wouldn't do for Mike Scioscia as our manager! Since he's not, Lord help us all!

DO SOMETHING GUMP!
FIRE THIS TEAM UP!
ISN'T THIS YOUR JOB?